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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Heather20/Female/United Kingdom Groups :iconprotect-the-bvb-army: Protect-the-BVB-Army
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In My Own Dream World

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Hailing from the highlands in Scotland.An outcast, self proclaimed pro at gaming and a wannabe rockstar. This defines Heather "Hetty" the Chemist. With aims to spread positivity and light into peoples lives with lyrics that aim to inspire. I'm a chef for a living, i smoke cigarettes, drink tea and play games. Writing is a big part of my life and I am always looking for some feedback.

Xbox live: skitzolefty
PSN: Skitzolefty
Steam: Hettythechemist
Twitter @hettypal
Snapchat hettythechemist
Rockstar social club: hettyblack
Youtube/ Google+ theholyghost
Tumblr: iamtheholyghost


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Sorry I literally never use DeviantArt anymore. I'm in the process of writing a story that I might upload. Anyway I have had an idea to write a story inspired and sit in the world of Bully (I have been trying to get all the achievements on it) Just like diary entries split into chapters. I find the world very immersive and the characters to have such strong personalities even though there's the cleched clicks. 

Catch me on 

Twitter: @hettypal 
Snapchat: hettythechemist
Instagram: skitzolefty
Xbox Live: skitzolefty
Playstation Network: Skitzolefty
Tumblr: iamtheholyghost
Youtube/Google: theholyghost
Steam: heatherthechemist
  • Mood: Content
  • Playing: Bully
  • Drinking: Summer fruits Robinsons
So I finally feel today was a step in the right direction a for process in recovery I suppose, I had a shower and I didn't want to cut myself I didn't even think about it which is honestly the first time in months as a continuation of the previous update. I finally told my flatmate everything, from the constant cutting to the suicide thoughts. I'm waiting for my referral for therapy to come through and I start my new medication tomorrow. The weather here is improving that's something for Scotland, so I went for a walk down the river yesterday in the sun and just talk things through, that really helped. I woke up this morning with a purpose I finally looked forward to getting up and out of bed. It's going to be a long road to full recovery but today felt like a fresh start after everything got said yesterday. I feel we can breath fresh air and start again to fight to get through this. 

  • Mood: Content
  • Watching: Family Guy
  • Drinking: Tango


Journal Entry: Mon Apr 7, 2014, 10:43 AM
:bulletpurple: So what's going on in the life of Hetty the chemist, well. Where to begin. I got diagnosed with depression again and self harmed again. I usually type personal things like this on my tumblr but I wanted to type it on here because her I upload my art, my  writing and that is what I do to vent all my personal feelings. I'm on a course of anti-depressants and to be honest they didn't help, they made the anxiety, over thinking and nothingness worse. I've had some really dark days where everything seemed so hopeless, that i'd go for a shower and stick razors over my arm and my thighs. For some reason it helped and I don't know why, I get so scared sometimes that I'm not going to get better. Telling my flatmate who is my best friend probably the most amazing friend I've ever had in my life was the hardest thing, she knows i'm clinically depressed and self harming, she saw more scars on my arms two days ago they weren't fresh at the time they were like 2 days old. We talked in my room the other night and I was trying so hard not to just breakdown in tears explaining my severe emptiness. And the look in her eyes when I told her, she didn't say anything but look with such a look of helplessness. And eventually managed to say "God Don't cry" I haven't had the guts to tell her that the other night I wanted to die, I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. And if she ever reads this I apologies now.

I just can't seem to find the words to explain how I feel when I'm feeling low, it's a bleak blackness that I get sucked into and I cannot escape. It's as unpredictable as my moods but  I had to admit that cutting myself seems to help me, I feel better after I do it. Explaining that to my family, my flatmate is just so upsetting. I show my scars and they just have to turn away or they'll cry. I feel so selfish sometimes when others see my scars and say that we need to talk then they ask why I did it and they just don't understand. Literally all I want now is for this to go away, I am getting my medication changed and am getting an immediate referral for therapy.


Hetty The Chemist :music: 

  • Mood: Anxious
  • Eating: Chilli


I watch you from across the room
Your bright eyes looking in
I want you to see me
Just the way I see you

I just want to hold you
and be your reason to smile
When your pretty eyes light up
I feel I belong

My heart aches over you
but I need to drown these feelings
I tell myself to stop hurting
(but I'm suffering x4)

These are my feelings on paper
to sing loud so maybe you'll hear
Yet you'll never know this is for you
I'll never forget your pretty eyes
and the smile that brightened my world
I shouldn't
All my songs tell my personal story, this one is no difference. I wrote this expressing my feelings on how I feel something for somebody I shouldn't there's no way I can tell them so I wrote this to say how I feel in this song. If I ever preform this infront of them, I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off them. 
Look at me, look at you
How could I ever feel the same?
Darling your smile melts me
Oh God I just want to hold you

This is my way of telling you
In a way I'm hiding
but these are my feelings
you honestly light up my day

This is how I tell you I love you
I'm sorry I'm telling you this way
I just have to sing these words
Even though you'll probably never know.
After a long time I've decided to upload! Sorry, I needed some inspiration and I found that so here is a new piece about telling someone you love your feelings though a song instead of actually telling them directly.  
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: strong language)
A Survivors Diary.

1. "Rise"he told me, so I stood up slowly my legs still feeling like jelly. I had no idea at this point what happened. "You are the ultimate survivor now go and kill" He demanded. He handed me a Japanese knife I didn't argue I just took it. I exited the dull rotten building, staggered down the narrow path to the rocks. Then I saw them, some kind of murderous cult cutting people up and hanging them from trees, setting people on fire, torturing them. I ducked quickly down into an undergrowth disappearing from their field of view yet I kept my eyes on them.  They must of heard my scuffling because they came looking this way, 3 men are armed,  I didn't exactly know the context of the situation but judging by they're actions I didn't want to draw attention. They all had dirty torn clothes, rags of while cloth and something round each of their neck, I couldn't really make it out properly - I didn't take the time to study it- it looked like a pendant of some kind. However their attire was the least of my problems I had to get rid of them and I went with my first instinct. "Kill Kill Kill" I thought over and over it was the only thing that made sense I didn't know anything else I didn't know who I was or what the specifics about the past. All I know what to so was kill and that was my final answer.
I made my move jumping to my feet and vaulting to the closest of the cultist members. I forced my knife into his stomach then up through his chin, his warm blood slapped my face and stained my clothes. I didn't care all I wanted was them to die.  His corpse dropped to the ground alerting the others to my presence.

"Who the fuck are you?" one of them asked.

"Hey, hey look she fucking killed him she fucking stabbed him to death" pointed another

"Fucking kill her don't let her get away!" he ordered.

I smirked relishing the idea of taking their lives too, which I did wish such ease. Three bodies now lay around me in their own crimson mess. It was to easy, the thrill and joy of kills are too natural to me. Who am I and What am I doing here?
A Survivors Diary Pt 1
I've been playing 2013 Tomb raider and I wanted to write my own take on the idea of being a survivor. Since the game follows Lara's journey from being "Innocent" to the "Survivor" I wanted to create my own story based on the idea that my character knows she's a killer but doesn't know anything else about her past. These are her diary entries and this is her story.

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snowyblackrose Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014   General Artist
You have read this fanfic [… , haven't you? I wish the writer finished it! Oops! Crying 
BFMVIDRAWWHENASSED Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes I did sometime ago! Yeah me too :o
snowyblackrose Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014   General Artist
It's so perfect I wanna read more XD I wish I was that great of a writer so maybe I could continue that story xD
BFMVIDRAWWHENASSED Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aww i'm sure you are :hugs:
(1 Reply)
APlaceForStuff Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the faves!! You're awesome! :)
BFMVIDRAWWHENASSED Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No problem! Thank you :meow:
xThe-Dark-Shadowx Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
Happy Birthday!!!!
BFMVIDRAWWHENASSED Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :D 
xThe-Dark-Shadowx Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014
You're welcome \m/ ^^ \m/
jubii10tails Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014

:o) hOnK
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