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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Heather20/Female/United Kingdom Groups :iconprotect-the-bvb-army: Protect-the-BVB-Army
 
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Take a look, scream you cannot be heard :iconikilleditplz:


You steal my work i'll hunt you down and break your face :)

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First I'm going to say this is very beautifully written and congratulations on your 1st place in #Love-Literature Realism Fiction Conte...

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Playing the 2013 Tomb Raider game. I just finished it 100% And I’m going to write some short pieces that are diary entries of a Survivor written in first person. I’ll post them on here when it's done. If anyone wants to read it.
To Disappear

Why is this haunting me?
The past is the past
I still feel the sting
of that acid tongue

As blackness wrapped itself around
I found my one true escape
To disappear I leave no trace
Into the world I create in ink

To teach those names mean nothing
The suffering each day was a lesson
If believing in myself makes me a freak
Then I am a fucking freak!

The walls painted black now stripped
To grow and learn
Now create my own world
We will all rise
To disappear
I want this to tell people the strong of how I went though some pretty shit times as everyone does but the important thing is how you actually deal with it. I got really down and went though various type of therapy I found what helped me was writing because I think everyone has that understanding and this song is explaining that. The title comes from the idea of me disappearing into my own world of writing and putting out my internal scream. 
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Walk In The Fog

Fade into the black
The pain train is on the wrong fucking track
Rip off your face
Choke on your blood

Seal your fate
you'll choke on your lies
I'll tear off your sick disguise
Just fucking DIE!

You're not in my life anymore
You were the poison
Get the fuck away
Stay the fuck away

I am not your pawn
I am not your fucking toy
I hope you burn
and your ashes won't remain"
Walk In The Fog
I was sick of feeling like someones puppet. The feeling of just being used for whatever you can get. The anger that just boiled up inside me. This is how I explain it, I couldn't stand it this song get my feelings of hate, anger and upset out. Just the thought of screaming it into a microphone and finally laying those demons to rest. 
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Sorry I literally never use DeviantArt anymore. I'm in the process of writing a story that I might upload. Anyway I have had an idea to write a story inspired and sit in the world of Bully (I have been trying to get all the achievements on it) Just like diary entries split into chapters. I find the world very immersive and the characters to have such strong personalities even though there's the cleched clicks. 

Catch me on 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/bullet13
Twitter: @hettypal 
Snapchat: hettythechemist
Instagram: skitzolefty
Xbox Live: skitzolefty
Playstation Network: Skitzolefty
Tumblr: iamtheholyghost
Youtube/Google: theholyghost
Steam: heatherthechemist
  • Mood: Content
  • Playing: Bully
  • Drinking: Summer fruits Robinsons

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BFMVIDRAWWHENASSED
Heather
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
In My Own Dream World

Comment Stamp by Poiizu
Thank You... by jennyleigh :thumb161778204: :thumb161778132:
Stamp: Believe and You Achieve by starfire-wolf :thumb244994661:

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Hailing from the highlands in Scotland.An outcast, self proclaimed pro at gaming and a wannabe rockstar. This defines Heather "Hetty" the Chemist. With aims to spread positivity and light into peoples lives with lyrics that aim to inspire. I'm a chef for a living, i smoke cigarettes, drink tea and play games. Writing is a big part of my life and I am always looking for some feedback.

Xbox live: skitzolefty
PSN: Skitzolefty
Steam: Hettythechemist
Twitter @hettypal
Snapchat hettythechemist
Rockstar social club: hettyblack
Youtube/ Google+ theholyghost
Tumblr: iamtheholyghost
Interests
Sorry I literally never use DeviantArt anymore. I'm in the process of writing a story that I might upload. Anyway I have had an idea to write a story inspired and sit in the world of Bully (I have been trying to get all the achievements on it) Just like diary entries split into chapters. I find the world very immersive and the characters to have such strong personalities even though there's the cleched clicks. 

Catch me on 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/bullet13
Twitter: @hettypal 
Snapchat: hettythechemist
Instagram: skitzolefty
Xbox Live: skitzolefty
Playstation Network: Skitzolefty
Tumblr: iamtheholyghost
Youtube/Google: theholyghost
Steam: heatherthechemist
  • Mood: Content
  • Playing: Bully
  • Drinking: Summer fruits Robinsons
So I finally feel today was a step in the right direction a for process in recovery I suppose, I had a shower and I didn't want to cut myself I didn't even think about it which is honestly the first time in months as a continuation of the previous update. I finally told my flatmate everything, from the constant cutting to the suicide thoughts. I'm waiting for my referral for therapy to come through and I start my new medication tomorrow. The weather here is improving that's something for Scotland, so I went for a walk down the river yesterday in the sun and just talk things through, that really helped. I woke up this morning with a purpose I finally looked forward to getting up and out of bed. It's going to be a long road to full recovery but today felt like a fresh start after everything got said yesterday. I feel we can breath fresh air and start again to fight to get through this. 


  • Mood: Content
  • Watching: Family Guy
  • Drinking: Tango

Update.

Journal Entry: Mon Apr 7, 2014, 10:43 AM
:bulletpurple: So what's going on in the life of Hetty the chemist, well. Where to begin. I got diagnosed with depression again and self harmed again. I usually type personal things like this on my tumblr but I wanted to type it on here because her I upload my art, my  writing and that is what I do to vent all my personal feelings. I'm on a course of anti-depressants and to be honest they didn't help, they made the anxiety, over thinking and nothingness worse. I've had some really dark days where everything seemed so hopeless, that i'd go for a shower and stick razors over my arm and my thighs. For some reason it helped and I don't know why, I get so scared sometimes that I'm not going to get better. Telling my flatmate who is my best friend probably the most amazing friend I've ever had in my life was the hardest thing, she knows i'm clinically depressed and self harming, she saw more scars on my arms two days ago they weren't fresh at the time they were like 2 days old. We talked in my room the other night and I was trying so hard not to just breakdown in tears explaining my severe emptiness. And the look in her eyes when I told her, she didn't say anything but look with such a look of helplessness. And eventually managed to say "God Don't cry" I haven't had the guts to tell her that the other night I wanted to die, I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. And if she ever reads this I apologies now.

I just can't seem to find the words to explain how I feel when I'm feeling low, it's a bleak blackness that I get sucked into and I cannot escape. It's as unpredictable as my moods but  I had to admit that cutting myself seems to help me, I feel better after I do it. Explaining that to my family, my flatmate is just so upsetting. I show my scars and they just have to turn away or they'll cry. I feel so selfish sometimes when others see my scars and say that we need to talk then they ask why I did it and they just don't understand. Literally all I want now is for this to go away, I am getting my medication changed and am getting an immediate referral for therapy.

Sorry 

Hetty The Chemist :music: 

  • Mood: Anxious
  • Eating: Chilli

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:iconsnowyblackrose:
snowyblackrose Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014   General Artist
You have read this fanfic [lillyr.deviantart.com/art/A-Da… , haven't you? I wish the writer finished it! Oops! Crying 
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:iconbfmvidrawwhenassed:
BFMVIDRAWWHENASSED Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes I did sometime ago! Yeah me too :o
Reply
:iconsnowyblackrose:
snowyblackrose Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014   General Artist
It's so perfect I wanna read more XD I wish I was that great of a writer so maybe I could continue that story xD
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:iconbfmvidrawwhenassed:
BFMVIDRAWWHENASSED Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Aww i'm sure you are :hugs:
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(1 Reply)
:iconaplaceforstuff:
APlaceForStuff Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the faves!! You're awesome! :)
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:iconbfmvidrawwhenassed:
BFMVIDRAWWHENASSED Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No problem! Thank you :meow:
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:iconxthe-dark-shadowx:
xThe-Dark-Shadowx Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
Happy Birthday!!!!
:iconspazhugplz::iconcakeplz::iconiloveyouplz::iconbigheartplz:
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:iconbfmvidrawwhenassed:
BFMVIDRAWWHENASSED Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :D 
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:iconxthe-dark-shadowx:
xThe-Dark-Shadowx Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014
You're welcome \m/ ^^ \m/
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:iconjubii10tails:
jubii10tails Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR FRIEEENND
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU !

:o) hOnK
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