"There I was again tonight
forcing laughter, faking smiles
same old tired lonely place
Walls of insincerity
shifting eyes and vacancy
vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is it was Enchanting to meet you
The bright multi-coloured lights flashed all over the stage, repeating different patterns to the beat of our rock music. The bar was half empty as I jumped around the small stage singing with additional growls between verses. I'd try to get the crowd interacting with us which was working for the most part. I pushed my long faded rainbow coloured hair out my face as our set just finished. I thanked the crowd and told them who we were my Scottish accent sticking out a mile away. Our guitarist nudged me pulling me into reality, he pointed into the people gathered. My eyes widened as they took in who was staring back. She was tall with silky black hair that rolled onto her leather jacket covered shoulders, a smirk crossed her perfect lips raising an eyebrow she laughed pushing her black glasses up her nose to rest correctly. I didn't know where to put myself, our guitarist nudged me again playfully forcing me to take my eyes off her. He shook his head and laughed walking off the stage. You'd think I'd be getting used to the attention but she felt different something about her presence that felt right. She just laughed showing pearly white teeth, her smile was really something else it just melted me. I was just so distracted by her I just couldn't function properly, normally I'd be helping the other guys get all our gear together instead I just decided to go for a cigarette. I waved at Ali our guitarist signalling I was going outside, he just answered with a thumbs up and a stupid grin. I gave him a sarcastic smile and hopped off the small stage fiddling in the pockets of my leather jacket for my lighter and cigarette. I felt her eyes on me as I pushed passed the wasted people at the bar to the exit.
I stepped outside into the light rain, the colder air was heaven on my sweaty pale skin. I sparked up, inhaling the addictive poison deep into my lungs. I leaned back first against the wall laying my head back slightly. I reflected on our shows and to be honest playing low end pubs and clubs wasn't cutting it. We basically lived out of our van or slept in my tiny flat whenever playing locally enough. I made most of my outfits since buying expensive stage gear wasn't an option the material of my pentagram harness was itchy and cheap, since it formed the shape just above my chest. I wore a black fish net top over it my ripped black skinny jeans which I made the rips look more fashionable by trying to make some kind of pattern down my legs and black ankle boots that had chains and buckles up the side. The cheap make up started irritating my skin as the spiky lines from my Gothic style on my face came off and faded the red evidence was always left. I played with my lip rings as I was in deep thought a habit I developed since getting the piercings done.
“I enjoyed your set tonight, your band are the only ones worth listening to” said a deep female voice. I looked up it was her the one looking at me the one I couldn't take my eyes off. She raised an eyebrow and her green eyes scanned me for a reply or acknowledgement to her compliment. One hand rested on her hip and one fiddled with her black fish net glove.
“Thanks” I smiled, “I think you were the only one who actually was capable of listening” I replied exhaling smoke.
“It's good to see some talent in this shit hole” She answered not taking her eyes off me. I gave a shy awkward smile slightly confused if she did actually like our music or if she was flirting.
“Why are you here? You look way too sober for this dump” I asked curiously, finishing my cigarette squashing the butt under my boot. She moved closer towards me piercing stare fixed on my face. She smiled so warmly the type of smile that caused my stomach to jump and literally take my breath away.
“Honestly you probably know the answer to that, I mean you're the only sober one in your band. I know you're no stranger to being surrounded in people who use. I respect that”
“Yeah” I sighed looking at the floor, she had something to do with this place getting their substances maybe not exactly a dealer but she was connected. I looked back up at her towering above me, she was tall god she was so tall and so attractive. She turned to walk away so I called after. “What's your name?” I asked. She turned around to face me with an almost smug grin on her face.
“My name is Alex” She smirked. “And you miss rock star?” asking almost playfully.
“Hetty or Heather I don't mind either” Alex approached me again, I watched her almost intimidated I couldn't get over how freaking tall she was. She placed her hands on my shoulders almost bent over to get close to my face. My blue eyes focused on her green as she placed her glasses on top of her head.
“Just to set the record straight Heather I'm not your bands dealer, hell I'm not this places dealer”
“What do you do?” I asked getting curious not loosing eye contact for one second.
“I work for an international drug cartel, so business takes me here I move various things. I'm sure you can work it out for yourself” she almost whispered.
“Yeah, I'm a very good judge of character but you are something else” I replied. She let go of my shoulders and flipped her shiny black hair out her face. Good lord words literally couldn't describe how beautiful she was.
“I'll take that as a compliment” Alex grinned. Putting her glasses back on, her green eyes slyly scanned my slim figure raising an eyebrow slowly looking impressed with me.
“You seem to trust me even though you have no idea who I am, the way you look at me you were so honest I really appreciate honesty”
“I like you, I want to get to know you better” I just gave a stupidly cheesy grin breaking our eye contact and playing with my lip rings. I didn't know what to say or where to put myself I really tried to hide my awkward shyness but it wasn't really working.
“It was good meeting you Alex, I'd better get back before the others start wondering where I am” I managed to cough up.
“Thanks Heather You too, Oh and by the way I fucking love your little accent” I smiled so wildly it was stupid. I tried to put together a reply but it came out as an awkward laugh. I didn't know where to put myself I mean she was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful in all sense of the word. It felt like one of those love songs where I felt I connected with her even though I barely knew her. Alex gave me a flirtatious smile accompanied with an arched eyebrow before turning away heading back in to the bar, I watched her disappear into the shouting blackness, her hips swaying side to side with each step. I pushed my hair out my face and took a deep breath, snapping myself out of the spell that Alex seemed to cast I couldn't get her out my head. Her smile, touch, those lips, her eyes, everything was just enchanting so haunting. I pulled myself together because I'd Just be having to watch my band mates get absolutely fucked out their faces, they'd be in some state by now and I dreaded seeing It again. I sighed and went back into the noisy sweaty building. I searched for the others also wanting to see Alex again. I really hoped I did, I needed to.
Your eyes whispered “Have we met?”
Across the room your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
the playful conversation starts
counter all your quick remarks
like passing notes in secrecy
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you.
“You're having a fucking laugh right?” I hissed trying to keep my temper from reaching breaking point. I focused my eyes on Ali, Our guitarist my friend shaking my head still trying to process the information “We used everything we had to move here to New York, All our savings to get our band from Scotland to here and now what our fucking crack head manager pisses what little we have away feeding his habit and yours!” I took a breath my eyes filling up I quickly shook off the tears before the escaped. “But it's not just you two it's all of you, you're all addicts and are pissing our money our dream down the drain everything we worked so hard for is pretty much fucking ruined” I turned away from him pushing my hair out my face dabbing my eyes again making sure my make up didn't run.
“Hetty, We…..Didn't...We...” He stammered. I was so fuelled with raged I couldn't look at him I wanted to fucking hurt him for destroying the only thing I had going in my life, my savings went to this band my wages from the shitty job in a kitchen went to this band. I moved miles from home to chase a dream that is now ashes. We were so bankrupt and had a few disastrous shows that everything just flared up, all the white lines the needles then the cold hard truth. Our band sucked and nobody would pay to see members that were so off their faces that they can't even hold the instruments properly. It sickened me, poisoned me I just couldn't fucking accept it. Ali explained to be the extent of his addiction how he lost control he was literally at breaking point now crying out for help. I made him see the effect it had on all of us and how we can't afford to get him and the others help. I held the bridge of my nose trying to stop the tears once again but my efforts failed, the water trickled down my cheeks leaving faded black lines down them. I turned to face him, his eyes full of guilt and shame.
“Ali, I can't watch you destroy yourself like this I think you need to go back home, back to Scotland see your family let them help you because I can't. We've got a free health service back home use it please before you end up being dead in an alleyway.”
“I'm sorry, Hetty I am so sorry it got so out of control, nothing feels real any more, I don't even know where I am half the time- He didn't finish his sentence he literally dropped to his knees and wept literally crying for help. I could barely watch my vision blurred tears blinding me. We formed this band we moved miles from home to male dreams a reality he's a second brother to me seeing him so scared and vulnerable made me want to get him home all the quicker.
“I'm sorry I let you get this way but we'll fix it I promise but mark my words that excuse for a manager is going to be fucking sorry”
I left Ali in my little flat, since there were no more shows to do I just worked most days and nights but I took a few days off to look after Ali. I let him rest have time to think but to be honest as selfish as I felt I needed to get out of there get away for a few hours collect my thoughts. I went to the bar that we previously played at for a few reasons mostly because it was the closest and also to try get hold of that manager I didn't know what I'd do if I got hold of him. I went and sat at the end of the bar on my own. The bar man just gave me a look.
“Vodka double and coke” I demand not taking my eyes off the bar.
“The hair, you're that singer from that band your look certainly makes it easy for you to recognise cool band shame about some of your members
“I'm seriously not in the fucking mood just get my drink, do your job and keep out of issues that don't involve you” I hissed. I pushed the money across the bar and put my head in my hands. I let out a loud sigh as a glass appeared beside me I nearly drank the whole thing at once.
“You're not helping the Scottish stereotype yet it's actually pretty sexy” said the familiar voice, it was Alex I'd recognise that sexy voice anywhere. I just wanted her to hug me to stop me breaking, my blue eyes turned to her I smiled slightly but it didn't hide the pain in my eyes. “I'm sorry you're not in the mood are you? What's wrong?” she asked genuinely sounding concerned. She sat down next to me pulling her stool closer to mine our knees touching. She put one hand round me and pulled me into a hug. I let her hold me I lay my head on her chest she rest her chin gently on my head. She stroked my hair softly during our silence. I knew she was going to ask me to explain what was wrong, spilling my heart out to somebody I barely knew wasn't exactly me but I did feel save with her. I knew she genuinely cared I waited for her questions as to why I am drinking to forget. My mind swirled and battled with itself questioning every damn decision I've ever made.
“Why am I a blind fucking idiot Jesus Christ?” I sighed pulling away from Alex and leaning on the bar. Finishing the rest of my glass leaving the empty on the side.
“We all fuck up Heather, you can't punish yourself forever” I looked up at her and forced another smile.
“Just fucking drink like all the other clichés”
“I can do with that” She grinned. She bought the next round, ordering quickly since she noticed my empty glass. I wanted to forget the bullshit for just one night. She was trying to make me feel better even though she had no idea what happened and to be honest I was still figuring out if I could trust her. I mean she was essentially a drug dealer she told me so herself. But I need someone right now maybe opening up would help even a little. Alex pushed my drink towards me I tipped it slightly towards her raising an eyebrow and started necking the cold liquid it slithered down my throat. I felt her green eyes watching me intoxicate myself she placed her free hand on my shoulder the other raising her glass to drink with me. Her eyebrow arched as she caught me watching.
“Something interesting you?” she asked playfully.
“Yeah, you” I answered studying her perfect features “I'm still figuring out if I can trust you but you're like the only person who's here for me right now, not like I don't appreciate it I really do my mind is just.. just… a mess there's so much going on and it won't stop” I confessed in between drinking and struggling to get the right words to explain.
“Suppressing emotions with alcohol is what people do, I don't know what's going on you might tell me you might not and that's up to you. I want to make sure you're ok because I care” She paused to take a drink, gently caressed my shoulders. “You made a good first impression, I'm also really good at smelling bullshit and you are genuine, you're clever and you're hot” she smiled “So there's my cards on the table Heather where's yours?” The mad spinning came to a hault Alex put her “cards on the table” I'm not going to dwell on the fact she called me hot but coming from a goddess type like her it's astonishing I was speechless. I decided to tell her everything so we got more drinks in and I took her by the hand to one of the unoccupied booths.
“Atleast now that fucking barman won't be listening” I scoffed sliding into the pew.
“Who gives a fuck what he thinks” laughed Alex sitting down close beside me “Oh I got us another few to keep us going and these” she pointed at two shot glasses with a dark gunky liquid in it and pushed one towards me. I lifted it to smell it, it was sharp and nasty.
“Jesus fuck that's hummin' smells like fucking cough medicine”
“Just fucking drink it!” Alex giggled.
“Here's to getting fucked” I raised my glass clinked ours together and downed it. I coughed and held me chest as it tightened “You bastard” I laughed shaking my head thinking that would rid the awful taste in my mouth.
“Aww miss rock star can't hold her liquor” She taunted patting my back as I curled up coughing laying my head on the table. Alex continued to laugh at me and taunt, I sat back up straight and stuck up my middle finger right in her face. She slapped it away playfully keeping the beautiful smile across her red lips making them more plump and delicious looking. Once the weirdness in my chest stopped I resumed to my double vodkas, realising the shot slightly impaired my vision and my speech starting slurring slightly. I could tell my the fits of laughing Alex was in. I shook my head smiling at her. Once she calmed down and carried on her own drinking, I fixed my blue eyes with her green that stared right back.
“Alex, do you still want my said cards on the metaphorical table?” I asked finishing one of my drinks. She raised an eyebrow and smirked looking over her glass.
“Of course I do, maybe we'll get ridiculously drunk but I'll always want you to be honest with me and because you're asking me I know you're ready so c'mon what is it?” She was focused getting ready to listen to what I had to say. I took a deep breath my tongue stoking the metal of my lip rings repeatedly, I played with the ends of my hair nervously. Alex took my hand in hers and held it, her fingers slowly playing with the back of my hand, it had an odd calming effect. I was half drunk and getting emotional I fought back the tears, they were not necessary I kept my eyes focused on her pretty ones staring back then I began.
“My band aren't doing well at all if I'm honest, we're finished they're full of drugs and can't play for shit which is disappointing but the two things are Ali our guitarist, my friend his addiction is literally killing him all the savings we had to move here and for the band has gone to feeding their fucking habit, fuck the other lot I don't care much for them the manager is a waste of skin But Ali is my friend we're done this for years we decided to move here for our dream but it's went so wrong” Alex nodded I could see her chewing her bottom lip slightly as she got more annoyed I decided to continue explaining “I spoke with Ali and he's going to back home to Scotland I let him rest so I came here, Alex I was so fucking angry we have nothing now our money went to them If I ever see that manager again and the other lot they're all getting told to go fuck themselves I want nothing to so with them” I sighed. Alex's facial expression had gone from anger to sympathy. “And here I am spilling out my heart to a drug dealer of which I am getting drunk with so I guess I can't get on my high horse either she's a hot drug dealer but Jesus I don't even know what to do any more”
“I admire your honesty and I'm sorry about your friend he's going back home, that's the best place for him. Fuck the others you need to focus on you” She gripped my hand tighter, I smiled at her I felt better for telling somebody I leaned on her arm and she pulled me into a hug.
“Thank you Alex” I muttered
“You're welcome” she purred playing with my hair and making the hug tight, I felt so safe with her arms around me it was like heaven especially when I felt so shitty. I held her as tight as she held me I rolled her hair though my fingers breathing her in feeling so save and supported. She was there when I needed somebody and that's what was important.
“This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonder struck blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
The lingering question kept me up
2am who do you love?
I wonder 'til I'm wide awake
And now I’m pacing back and forth
Wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say “Hey”
It was enchanting to meet you
All I know is it was enchanting to meet you”
The time literally flew by it didn't feel like a concept any more. Alex and I sat in the booth laughing and drinking right until 3am hit which was when everybody had to finish up their drinks. The lights went brighter and the music came to a dramatic stop. Alex pushed my hair out my of my face her long index finger traced my jaw line. The smile that came across her lips was almost mind blowing I let out a slight gasp, she raised an eyebrow and laughed at my little slip. I was so awkward at flirting and reacting to it I didn't know what to do when she would make moved. I decided to go with it since I couldn't take my eyes off her, she was honestly a goddess I struggled to even get the words to describe in my mind. We finished up our drinks and went to stand up but it wasn't really standing Alex staggered but used the table as support as she found her balance exiting the booth. I didn't think of that and somehow lost the coordination on how to move one foot in front of the other so coming out the booth was just increasingly difficult. My feet both slipped as I made my way out the booth, I felt myself falling and braced for the thumping impact of the ground but I didn't hit it. Yes Alex managed to stop this so I pretty much fell into her. She wrapped her arms around my slim figure putting me up right helping me to my feet again. I started laughing as did she, I pushed my hair out my face.
“Are you ok dear?” she asked pulling me closer to her resting her hands gently on my hips.
“Yeah thanks, I would of broke my fucking face”
“Oh we can't have that” she grinned pulling me so close our bodies could create friction. I got a sheer rush of ecstasy and excitement even though I was very intoxicated. I enjoyed her touch so much I wanted this I wanted her. Her green eyes watched every expression on my face she knew exactly what I was thinking. She held me in the same position so I rested my hands on her figure towering above me she smiled that smug look of I told you so.
“You're a bastard” I laughed leaning on her chest giggling drunkly I couldn't stay still or stop laughing like a bloody school girl.
“Why? For helping you?” Alex smiled deviously.
“I am so bad at..this while flirtin' thing I don't even know how to react it's so bad” I managed to spill out the words in between laughing and drunken slurs. “I am so sorry hahaha” I pulled away from leaning and Alex just continued to hold me watching me with those beautiful eyes looking me up and down. That smile that came across her lips, that smile that literally melted me gave me so many uncontrollable feelings of desire. I ached for her I really wanted her.
“C'mon ladies let's go” said the bouncer rather loud. Alex glared at him I shook my head at her mouthing the word no. We let go of our rather comfortable holding position and headed to the exit I kept grip of Alex's hand as I could barely walk properly. The air outside slapped me in the face the smell of smoke, spew and piss was high I pulled a face as I saw some random guy vomiting violently and being very damn noisy about it. Alex pulled me away from the pub and people in general really considering the amount of alcohol I had consumed my stomach turned because of what I just witnessed hanging on the thought wasn't helping. Alex had a firm grip of my hand guiding me to wherever we ere going. My drunken mind wandered I laughed out loud at the stupid things going though it like wanting Alex to kiss me now. That is what I couldn't stop thinking about I wasn't sure where I was but I'd forgotten the sick feeling I felt previously which was good. I didn't really want to embarrass myself even more. I snapped into a staggering reality because Alex halted suddenly, confusion was written all over my face my mouth parted slightly. She let go of my hand and gently wrapped her arms around my waist. She wore that beautiful across her lips, my eyes widened in anticipation more than anything else. I watched her looking down her green eyes scanning every inch of me, the smirk turned more sadistic I almost forgot how to breathe. Our eyes locked her right hand traced up my body to my jaw line she stroked my face slightly holding it as if it was the delicate and precious. I swallowed hard trying to control myself no matter what I was going through my only focus was her right now and she was really something. I closed my eyes as she leaned in close to my left ear, feeling her warm breath on my skin.
“Here's where you decide rock star” she whispered teasingly that deep voice causing my groin to pulse. “I can make you feel things you've never felt before and when you feel them they're ruin you” Her voice hushed deep and so sensual, my jaw dropped almost panic stricken.
“I….I want you” I stammered. “I want to feel you I want to know how good you really are” Alex took a deep breath taking in what I said she wanted to hear that. She pressed herself against me I took in her mystical sent and exhaled loudly, God she smelt amazing.
“Hmhm I'm glad you finally admit it” She taunted pressing her soft lips into my wanting skin I gasped. Her touch was so gentle she continued down my jawline to my lips which were parted anyway. Our lips locked and I felt a connection that was emotional like I knew it was right, we looked deeply into each others eyes and I felt her smile. I kissed her back as careful as she did to me. Alex moved one hand up through my hair and one hand held my hip, she caressed my body getting familiar. I pulled her closer to me sneaking my hands up her jacket to properly hold her body. I felt so comfortable with her I broke the kiss softly not looking away from the fixed green gaze still forming a smile, that smile I could never forget.
“Now kiss me properly” I whispered trying not to sound desperate to ruin the moment. She laughed out loud as if I'd just melted her, she put her glasses on her head and bent over slightly tilting her head to get the best possible angle. Our lips united again but this time was heated more passion and more force. She pushed me right up against the wall pinning my wrists above my head, grinding our bodies together. She slipped her tongue into my mouth where I kissed her right back with the same passion and force. She was such a good kisser she knew exactly what to do. I wasn't too bad either which I would make her admit. She bit my lip slightly which drove me fucking crazy I moaned into her mouth.
“That better” Alex breathed in between heated kisses. I couldn't say anything I just moaned into her mouth again. She smiled into our kiss again though it was full of want and passion. She moved one hand down to caress my pale features. I enjoyed her taste really all I could taste was vodka but anything was enjoyable being from her, from how she held me to feeling her smile to the beautiful green eyes I could loose myself in.
“I thought you were never gonna do that” I smiled once we eventually stopped making rough mouth play, we just pushed our foreheads together. Alex laughed and stared into my blue eyes full of innocence which I think drove her crazy about me.
“I wasn't sure you wanted it but more vodka more open you got” She grinned pulling me into a tight hug. I leaned on her playing with her hair pushing the black silk though my fingers. I started to shiver as the rain got heavier.
“Fuck this rain, let's go” she said taking my hand again leading the way though various different streets.
“Yeah?” She answered.
“I still can't see properly or walk or do anything really” I trailed off into a ramble.
“It's what alcohol does my dear you'll be save with me”
“This is me praying that
This was the very first page
Not where the storyline ends
My thoughts will echo your name
Until I see you again
These are the words I held back
As I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you”